Did God Send Suffering to Teach Me a Lesson?

Is God sending you some suffering to teach you a lesson?

Because if that’s who God is, I don’t want anything to do with that kind of god.

My gut reaction when I first heard that phrase — “God is teaching you a lesson” — was a sense of guilt and despair. Because on top of the bad situation I was already trying to make sense of, I was also being told — in veiled terms — that I was not good enough. That I had something wrong with me. That God had to punish me just to get my attention. That God had to “teach me a lesson.”

Do you remember the schoolyard bully who told you he was going to teach you a lesson? He didn’t mean he was going to sit down with you and gently walk you through a study guide. He meant he was going to hurt you. And he implied you deserved it.

That’s the message hiding inside the phrase “God is teaching you a lesson.” It puts God in the bully category. If that’s the truth about God, then the whole gospel is a lie. So which is it?

Because the answer changes everything.

Sitting across the table from me was a friend who bought into the lie that somehow, she deserved this lesson because she failed God. That meant she had two problems now: the original one, and the impossible task of figuring out what she had done to deserve it.

The concept of God teaching us a lesson through suffering was so ingrained in her from the constant repetition within the culture and church all around her, that she could not separate out the lie from the biblical truth. At that moment, all she felt was the sting. And she was hurting.

Maybe you’ve felt that sting too — the exhaustion of trying to survive and pass the test at the same time.

She was walking through something heavy — the kind of weight that makes your chest ache just looking at it. Someone had told her the very same thing, and she parroted back what so many of us have been taught to say:

“What is God trying to teach me through this?”

I paused. Then gently, I told her the truth: That idea — that God sends suffering to “teach us a lesson” — is not from the Bible. It’s from the pagan world. It is not in alignment with the Bible at all.

She was stunned.

“Then why are churches teaching this?” That is the question. And it’s one worth answering.

Where Did This Idea Come From? It Didn’t Start With Jesus.

This idea has pagan roots — and it has worn many masks across history.

In Eastern religions, karma teaches that suffering is the universe settling a moral debt. In animistic traditions, pain is the work of displeased spirits or angry ancestors. In Greek and Roman paganism, the gods punished pride with storms and tragedy. In New Age spirituality, the packaging is softer — the universe “guides” rather than punishes — but the core is the same: a higher power orchestrates your pain for your instruction.

And in some Christian circles, we’ve dressed it in Bible words. “God is breaking you to remake you.” “God took your child to teach you to rely on Him.” We call it discipline, but we pour pagan meaning into the term.

The common thread across every version? You are the problem, and the deity is the one applying the pain.

That is not the God of the Bible. But it is exactly how Job’s friends thought. And God was very angry with them for it.

Job’s Friends Spoke This Way — And God Was Very Angry

The book of Job is a full-length portrait of how God responds to this very lie. And His response is not gentle.

When Job lost everything — his children, his wealth, his health — three friends came to “comfort” him. What they offered instead was a theological interrogation dressed as friendship. Their message, repeated across chapter after chapter, was simple: “Job, you must have done something wrong. God is just. Therefore, you are being punished. Repent, and God will let up.” In other words: God is teaching you a lesson, Job.

Eliphaz said it plainly: “Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished?” (Job 4:7). Bildad told Job that his children must have sinned to deserve their death (Job 8:4). Zophar insisted that Job’s suffering was mild compared to what his guilt deserved (Job 11:6). They spoke as though God was a schoolmaster wielding a rod, and Job was the failing student.

At the end of the book, God Himself steps in, and He does not hold back. In Job 42:7, the Lord says to Eliphaz: “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.” God was angry — not with Job, but with the friends who claimed suffering was a lesson from His hand.

They had misrepresented His character. And what did God require? A burnt offering. Seven bulls, seven rams, and the prayers of the very man they had accused. God called their teaching “folly” — not a small theological nuance — and it required a blood sacrifice to resolve.

God set the record straight: Job was suffering because the enemy had come before the throne to challenge Job’s integrity, accusing him of serving God only for the “fringe benefits.” God allowed the enemy’s assault to dismantle the Accuser’s claim and prove that a man of faith possesses a spirit the enemy cannot break.

Through it all, Job spoke honestly and refused to slander God’s character, even when his life was in ruins. If God condemned Job’s friends for painting Him as the bully, this biblical story should sound the warning about repeating that same lie.

The Lie That Kept Creeping Back — and Jesus Confronted It

When the disciples saw the man born blind, their first instinct was that same pagan instinct: Someone sinned. God is teaching someone a lesson. They were Jewish men, raised on the Scriptures, walking daily with the Messiah — and they still defaulted to the lie.

The lie had been in the air for centuries. Israel was commanded not to adopt the ways of their pagan neighbors, but they did. The idea seeped in anyway — a god who punishes; a god who sends suffering as a syllabus for growth. By Jesus’ day, it was dressed in Scripture language and taught by religious leaders. It sounded holy. It was not.

In John 9, Jesus and His disciples come across a man born blind. The disciples ask the exact question Job’s friends asked: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2).

Jesus corrected their wrong thinking right on the spot: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).

Jesus himself said this kind of thinking was wrong.

He did the same in Luke 13, when people brought Him news of Galileans killed by Pilate and others who died when a tower collapsed. The unspoken assumption was the same: those people must have been worse sinners. Jesus answered, “Do you think they were worse sinners than all the others? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:2–3).

Suffering is not a report card. Jesus made that clear.

Why Is There Suffering at All?

If God isn’t sending suffering to teach lessons, why is there so much pain? The answer begins in a garden, not a classroom.

In the beginning, God created a world that was “very good” (Genesis 1:31). No death. No disease. No tears. Suffering was not part of the original design. But God gave humanity a real gift: free will. Love that is coerced is not love at all. So God gave Adam and Eve the freedom to choose — and with it, the capacity to choose wrongly. They chose to eat the fruit, and in that moment, everything changed.

Through their disobedience, sin entered the world. And through sin, death. And through death, every form of suffering we now know (Romans 5:12). The ground itself was cursed. Creation began to groan (Romans 8:20–22). We inherited a fallen nature, a fractured creation, and an enemy who prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

But God did not leave us in that state. In His goodness, He sent Jesus to restore us back to righteousness with Him.

The cross was not an afterthought — it was the plan from before the foundation of the world (Revelation 13:8).

Until the New Jerusalem comes down from heaven — until God makes all things new and wipes every tear from our eyes (Revelation 21:1–4) — we will continue to live in a fallen world.

Bad things will happen.

Bad things are the result of the fall. They are not the result of God’s nature.

The Key Distinction: Corporate Covenant Judgment vs. Individual Suffering

In the Old Testament, God entered into a covenant with Israel as a nation. When the nation repeatedly, collectively broke that covenant — through idolatry, injustice, and wholesale rebellion — God brought covenantal judgment. But he brought this judgment only after frequent warnings to turn away from sin. Famine, exile, defeat by enemies was the result of humanity breaking the covenant—intentionally and over and over again.

God’s judgement was what he was forced to do. It was a righteous Judge executing justice on a covenant-breaking nation, not a schoolmaster handing out individualized lesson plans to teach personal growth.

But here’s what the “God is teaching you a lesson” lie does: it takes that corporate, covenantal category and applies it to your personal cancer diagnosis. It whispers that your suffering is specific punishment for specific sin — just like Job’s friends did. And God was very angry with them for it.

The Cross Changes Everything

There is a deeper truth still: Jesus absorbed the covenant curses on our behalf. Galatians 3:13–14 says, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.” The judgment that was due — even the corporate, covenantal judgment — fell on Him.

So if you are in Christ, you are not under the covenant curses of the law. You are under grace. The Father is not waiting to strike you down for your failures. He already poured out the judgment for your sin on Jesus at the cross. There is no punishment left for you (Romans 8:1).

But Doesn’t the Bible Say God Uses Suffering to Grow Us?

Yes — and this is where careful distinction matters.

Scripture does teach that God uses suffering:

• James 1:2–4 — trials produce steadfastness, which leads to maturity.

• Romans 5:3–5 — suffering produces endurance, character, and hope.

• Hebrews 12:7–11 — God disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness.

But notice what Scripture never says. It never says God is the source of the pain. James 1:13 closes that door completely: “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone.”

Suffering and trials are part of being in a fallen world; and God can redeem even that to bring something good out of it—rather than leaving us to suffer in it.

The Bible says: “Since you are suffering (in a fallen world), God — in His redemptive sovereignty — will weave that suffering into your growth and His glory” (Romans 8:28–29).

Let's make it easy.

The Lie: God sent the pain to teach you.

The Truth: The enemy sent the pain to kill you; God showed up to rescue you and use the debris for your benefit.

Are We Supposed to “Work” for God’s Favor?

And here’s where the lie gets even more tangled. Some have taken Paul’s words about ‘working out’ salvation and twisted them into a system of earning God’s favor — as though suffering is the test and you have to pass it.

You might point to the following scripture and tell me "But, Paul said to work out our salvation with fear and trembling." Paul wrote:

"Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose" (Philippians 2:12-13).

But notice this: Paul said "work out". Trying to please God by doing "works" such as "learning the lesson" not "working out", it is "working to".

"Working out" = living from what has already been given, unfolding it in daily life.

"Working to" = earning, striving, and proving you deserve acceptance.

Paul the apostle wrote Romans, where he hammers home that salvation is a free gift by grace through faith — not works, so no one can boast (Romans 3:28, Ephesians 2:8–9). He would never then turn around and say we must earn God’s favor to avoid being struck down. That would be a flat contradiction.

Look again at what Paul wrote to the Philippians. He said: “it is God who works in you.”

The “fear and trembling” is not the terror of a child waiting for the belt. It is the reverence of someone who realizes God Himself is dwelling in them and moving through them. The work is His work in you. Your part is to cooperate, not to perform.

You do not work to gain the Father’s love. You work out and live out the love He has already placed inside you.

Who God Really Is

Hebrews 1:3 says the Son is “the exact imprint of God’s nature.” If you want to know what God is like, look at Jesus. And what do you see?

• He touches lepers: Compassion that heals rather than rejects (Matthew 8:3, Mark 1:41, Luke 5:13).

• He weeps at tombs: Love that grieves with us (John 11:33-36).

• He welcomes children: Gentleness and invitation (Mark 10:14-16; Matthew 19:14, Luke 18:16-17).

• He forgives the woman caught in adultery: Grace and justice working together (John 8:10-11).

• He submits to the cross without retaliating: Sovereign love that suffers to save (1 Peter 2:23, Isaiah 53:7, Philippians 2:8).

Jesus said, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:9). There is no hidden, angry God lurking behind Jesus. God is exactly like Jesus.

His character is not a mystery we must deduce from our pain. He has shown us who He is.

He is holy — utterly set apart from all moral defilement. He is love — it is not just what He does, it is what He is (1 John 4:8).

He is gracious and merciful — slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love (Exodus 34:6).

He is just and righteous — at the cross, justice and mercy kissed; Jesus absorbed the judgment we deserved so we could go free (Romans 3:25–26).

He is faithful and true — He does not lie, He does not change, His promises are certain (Numbers 23:19).

He is sovereign — able to weave even the evil that arises from a fallen world into a redemptive plan (Genesis 50:20).

He is the God who ministers to us in our suffering; He does not cause it. He does not stand apart lecturing you in the storm. He walks on the water to get into your boat (Matthew 14:25-33).

He is not observing you from afar with a taser in his hand waiting for you to make the wrong move.

Why This Matters

When the Church adopts the pagan idea that God sends calamities to teach individual lessons, it does three devastating things:

• It makes God the author of evil. And that directly contradicts His holiness — as we saw in the book of Job.

  
  

• It traps believers in a guilt spiral. You spend your pain endlessly asking, “What am I supposed to learn?” instead of rising in the authority of Christ to resist the darkness and receive His comfort.

  
  

• It misrepresents the Father to a watching world. They don’t know the Father who runs to embrace them.

Jesus said we are to be salt and light to the world.

A Better Question

When life hurts, the question is not “What is God trying to teach me?”.

The better question is:

“Father, since I’m in this hard place, show me where You are in it with me (Psalm 23:4).

Reveal how this can bring You glory (John 9:3) as I overcome it by Your grace (Romans 8:37, 2 Corinthians 12:9).”

God is not the cause of your suffering. But He is the answer.

He does not inflict lessons. He enters into the fire with you.

As Jesus was in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3:19–27), He is in your fire today.

Think about that scene: the furnace was so hot it killed the men who threw them in.

But inside the flames, there was simply the presence of the Fourth Man. Jesus.

Jesus stripped the fire of its power to destroy them. If He did that for them, He will do it for you, too!

He walked the perimeter of their pain, ensuring that not a single hair was singed and not a single scent of smoke clung to their clothes. He is the God who walks into the furnace with you—not to explain why you are there, but to ensure that what was meant to consume you serves only to reveal His glory.

And He is so powerful and so kind that He can take what the enemy meant for evil and weave it into something beautiful.

He is with us in our suffering and our pain. Not to judge. But to be our help.

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That is the God of the Bible. And He is worth knowing.

One Person Can Restore Truth

Here is the good news: you don’t need a movement to begin restoring the truth. You just need to be one person who is willing to speak.

Think of the heroes of the faith: Moses before Pharaoh, David before the giant, Paul before the councils. They were just people who refused to accept the narrative of the enemy. So are you. And Jesus, the ultimate One, stood alone in the Garden and on the Cross—not to teach us a lesson, but to dismantle the curse and restore our access to the Father.

He is the Truth. When you speak the truth about His character, you are walking in the authority He gave you.

My friend didn’t leave that conversation with all her questions answered. But she did leave seeing the Father differently. And that’s where healing begins.

You can start right where you are. At the coffee shop. In the church foyer. Over your kitchen table. When you hear that toxic phrase—‘God is teaching me a lesson’—you don’t need to be a theologian. You just need to be a witness. Sow the seed of His goodness. Let the Father’s reputation be your mission.

The world is starving for a Father who heals; they have seen enough of a god who lectures. Go be the one who gets His character right. It’s time to stop letting the enemy define the Father to those who need Him most.

And if someone shares that hurt with you, you can say something like:

“I used to think that too. But then I saw that Jesus never treated suffering that way.”

“The enemy is the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. God is the one who rescues.”

“God is with you in this. He is not the one who lit the fire.”

You don’t need perfect words. You just need to be willing to speak the truth in love.

Struggling to unlearn a distorted view of God? You’re not alone. Share this with someone who needs to see the Father as He really is.

This article addressed the main question, “What is God teaching me?” along with other common questions about why there is evil in this world — but maybe you’re carrying other questions. If there’s something about God’s character you’re still trying to understand, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out through the contact section below. You’re probably not the only one wondering. And I’ll do my best to write toward your question next.

Written by Doris Morissette, Certified Emotion Code, Body Code, and Belief Code Practitioner after 23 year-career as a Registered Nurse.

Author of:

1. God's Healing Code: Energy Healing, Reiki, Chakras, Akashic Records, and What Christians Need to Know.

2. God's Deliverance Code: Strategies and Prayers for Christians to Defeat Witchcraft, Demons, Curses, and Spells (to be released Jan 2027)