Remove One Heart Wall & Help The Whole Family: Emotion Code

Blond young boy holding flowers in his hand

This is a true story that needs to be told to encourage you about the benefits of removing a heart wall.

I was contacted by a dear mother who was worried about her son. For sake of anonymity, we will call her son, Alexander.

There were three main issues that she brought up to me during our appointment.

1. Temper tantrums

2. Lack of empathy and “bonding”

3. An unhealthy commanding presence

That was four years ago now.

At that time, I was going through the certification process in the Emotion Code and needed some volunteers. The Mom agreed to allow Alexander to be a “volunteer”.

(Just a note. When I work on children I do so by their picture, usually, while I have the parent on the phone or zoom.)

Alexander was scheduled to start at a Montessori school in about a month, and she was afraid of mentioning anything to the doctor about these concerns. You see, there are fears that a doctor may place a label on her son and consequently may shape the way every teacher would see him.

Oftentimes, labels can actually follow children through their life; shaping the rest of their future as this “label” and not as a human being. Yes, having a diagnosis could have some benefits for assisting children through their learning, however, it may also do harm.

Temper Tantrums

At three years old, Alexander had terrible temper tantrums that, as described by his mother, as going way beyond “normal”. It appeared that nothing mom nor the family did; helped him. Mom was a little desperate. No, correct that. Mom was VERY desperate to find a way out of this situation to help her son.

Here is just one example. Shopping was a task that entailed trying to avoid any “triggers” that might set off another temper tantrum. Those temper tantrums lasted for what seemed like forever. Envision him kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs while he thrashed around on the floor. He seemed so overtaken by his emotions that he was not open to any intervention.

Lack of Empathy and Bonding

Mom shared that Alexander would not want to interact with her. His response to her was to push her away and not verbalize any responses to her. This was very worrisome to her as she very much wanted to be able to nurture him.

An Unhealthy Commanding Presence

She also confided in me that when her son came into a room, he “commanded the room”. She said that the other children in the room would walk up to him and just hand over their toys, without Alexander saying anything. Just his presence was enough to shift the perception in the room, making him the center of attention. All this, at three years old!!

The Worst Fear for Her

She told me: “I am afraid that I might be raising a future serial killer.”

When our children are struggling and having a significant level of emotional regulation, sometimes presenting as rage, parents may fear the worst. They can begin to blame themselves and out of that fear, be frozen in what to do for their children. Her feelings were very important and valid.

What Was The Plan Of Action?

The plan of action was to begin Emotion Code sessions and to continue until the heart wall was down.

A pretty simple potential solution.

That was the only solution I could offer her and frankly, there was no other obvious solution around. So it was agreed, we would try that.

For someone just three years old, that little boy had the biggest heart wall ever. He needed almost twenty sessions.

I suppose every time he became emotionally dysregulated, during a temper tantrum, he would be adding more and more emotions; almost like building a tower over time. Normally doing three, six, or at the outside, nine sessions are considered the “normal” number for a heart wall. For Alexander, he required a deeper level. And that’s okay; I’m here to help!

What Was The End Result Of Removing The Heart Wall?

Nothing changed at all until after the last session was done. Mom shared with me, it happened like the snap of the fingers.

It was as if the whole wall crumbled, and immediate changes came about.

Temper Tantrums, Gone!

Well, almost. Not nearly as bad. We needed to focus some special attention on those, but definitely a huge improvement. We don’t expect three-year-olds to be mini-adults, however, helping to ease the dysregulation surely helps both child and parent alike. There is no need to create more trauma for Alexander.

Lack of Empathy & Bonding, Gone!

The first thing that happened was Mom was climbing the big rock in their yard to attempt to play with Alexander. As he was climbing the rock from the other side they both got to the top and the first thing out of his mouth was “But Mommy; when you climb the rock with me, I lose my superman powers.” Mom’s mouth just dropped. What did he just say she thought?

It was the first time that little Alexander spoke anything about how he felt to anyone, including his Mommy. It did not stop there!

That was the first of many new gains that continue to this day. The wall that caused Alexander to not want to bond was no longer there. He was bonding now and in a big way. She also described to me how it is normal now for him to just run up to her, grab one of her legs and say “Mommy, I love you”. And, he did it with the greatest enthusiasm and wet kisses imaginable.

Awwww......

An Unhealthy Commanding Presence, Gone!

Now, we are talking about looking back four years to that event and these benefits all “held”. Here is another example of this. His teachers will send notes home from school saying that Alexander has great patience with the other children, and he loves to help out. He is gentle and sweet. Now, that is a switch from before!

Maybe The Best Benefit of All?

During previous family vacations, dad would sit by the pool and drink. But things changed.

This time, dad chose to play in the pool with the family instead. That pattern has remained and was a big change.

Now, Dad is more a part of the family than ever.

What Do We Have to Thank for All These Benefits of Removing The Heart Wall?

The Emotion Code. Removing the heart wall not only helped the little boy in this family, but the whole family got to experience a greater bond and enjoyment of each other. What a great ending!

Want to get rid of your heart wall now? The benefits might surprise you!

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